A song I listened to on repeat during my last pregnancy:
Never too soon
Oh, reckless abandon
Like no one's watching you...
Songs of desperation
I played them for you.
A moment, a love
A dream, aloud..."
But one of my favorites has no words at all. When Josie died, I thought someone wrote it just for me. It made me feel sad, (which wasn't hard to do then), but it made me feel hopeful too: hopeful that I might survive; hopeful for what was to come. "September Song", by Agnes Obel. It's strange how a piano can see your soul like that.
This September I learned something important. And so I remember all of the things that could happen, those that did, and those which might never, and so I am terrified; a fear I can hardly exist beside, every second.
But I am also hopeful. I am so very hopeful of what could be, when the leaves are green again.